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Single Parents. x3 (PunkxZero!)

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punkjello

Star
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
How long had he been up? Time seemed to pass as slow as watching paint dry. Most of the time, Dai Lihve would be utterly exhausted from having to raise this child by himself. However, his need for sleep had dwindled considerably until he could get by with a simple three hours or so of resting. Raising a child was hard work, especially an infant. The young nineteen-year-old rocked back and forth slowly as he held the young infant close to his chest who was quietly drinking from his bottle and drifting off. Every time the dark-haired male went to put the baby down, he would start crying to be held again and Dai would get nowhere in a hurry. And so, the male had simply decided to bring his blanket into the nursery and recline in the chair, holding his son close. "Shhh..." He hummed a silent lullaby, arms holding the young child close and firmly. He had been a parent for a grand total of eight months now. Each day passed and Dai looked as tired as ever, yet he kept a smile on his face. This bundle of joy in his arms was his only light in life. After the young infant's father had disappeared from their lives for a few months, Dai had gotten used to the idea of raising this child as he wished. No one would get in the way, especially no deadbeat father that didn't even want the child in the first place.

Ah yes, what a strange and utterly horrible experience he had gone through. After three long years of dating, he and his sweetheart had finally given up their purity to each other. Well, Dai did. He wasn't sure about Anthony anymore. Unfortunately, there seemed to be quite the problem. A strange condition had been discovered in the young male's body. There was a place in his stomach that wasn't supposed to be there. A womb. Six weeks later, the boy had found out that he definitely had been impregnated by his long-term boyfriend. How to tell him? How shocking would such news be and would he even believe him? Would his parents support them? What would they do to take care of a child? Dai was only a boy that was barely out of high school. He had no income and he surely had no way to take care of a child! Of course, knowing the estranged reaction that his boyfriend had given, Dai had been left to essentially care for the child himself. Anthony had wanted to keep it hidden from the world that he had a son with another male. He wanted to keep it a secret from his family and... well.

Dai was just not happy with that. His thoughts were interrupted as he heard his young son burp on his own, the bottle's tip falling out of his mouth and milk dribbling down his chin a bit. The dark-haired male couldn't help but smile. His hand moved to gently dab at his chin and clean it up, holding the infant close and kissing the top of his head. "That's it, sweetheart... Mommy's got you..." He murmured, rocking back and forth and humming a quiet tune. His long black hair fell in rivulets over his pale, exposed shoulders as he relaxed in the chair. There were visible bags underneath the boy's emerald green eyes from a lack of sleep, though that lok of happiness was unmistakable. He was elated at having such a joy in his life. This was the only joy he had now anyway. His hand ran gently over the infant's hair until he was alerted by the phone ringing beside him. He quickly picked it up to prevent his son from waking up, gently yawning and resting his head against the side of the chair. "Hello?" He murmured tiredly, listening to the other end of the line. "No, Ryder's feeling better... he's sleeping right now." He sighed softly in relief.

Ah, what a joy it had been to have his mother in his life. She had been ecstatic at being able to have a grandson, no matter if Dai was a boy or not! His father, on the other hand? He was a conservative man that held a strong sense of morals and ethics, and he couldn't accept Dai for what he was. Ah well. Dai didn't give a damn. He smiled tiredly and listened to the woman on the end of the line before nodding. "All right... come over tomorrow and you can take him out to get him some clothes." The woman was so sweet and offered to help him so much. That was what mothers were for, and Ryder's grandmother was going to spoil him rotten one of these days. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep while Ryder's snoozing... love you, mom." He hung up and curled up against the chair with Ryder held firmly in his arms. That was until the phone rang again and he sighed silently, picking it up quickly.

"Look, Mom... I really need some sleep, please..." He frowned, adjusting the oversized t-shirt that hung down to his mid-thigh. It was comfortable and had been one of his ex-boyfriend's shirts. Even if the man had given him nothing but bad memories over the recent months, he still found comfort in breathing in thes cent of the older man that lingered on the shirt. It even showed their size difference, for Dai was nearly swallowed up in the shirt. "... Mom?"

[I hope that's okay, lovie. x.x; I figured you could start with him calling Dai or something to apologize or... something? xD -shrug- If not, you can start wherever you want. ^^]​
 
Anthony breathed a moment, it was hard to speak, but he had to. He had called several times already that night. He had to hear Dai, he missed him so, and it killed him that every time his baby had answered the phone he heard his infant son crying. He felt like such a loser, such a dick. He felt useless and like trash, like worse then trash! How could he hide and pretend as if everything was okay, when Dai was at home struggling. Sure he had it hard. His family had almost wanted to disown him when they found out he was gay. Jesus! He was a 'foot ball star'! How could he have been gay?! His father didn't speak to him for weeks when he found out that he had a boy friend, his mother just frowned and stayed silent. He was lucky that his brother wasn't there at the time the rest of his family found out, if he had, he would have ended up... well, who knows.

But so what? Dai had it too! His father was a dick to him, how was it that he could just leave? And leave Dai alone? He was a fool, and a selfish idiot!

He hadn't seen Dai in four months, but it felt like four years. Dai was his baby, his boo, his one and only, his sunshine, his sugar, he was his everything. And now he felt like he wasn't good enough, and that was just the truth- he wasn't. He had called Dai so many times and just hung up because... he didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to expect. He knew what to fear- Dai had someone else, someone better, Dai hated him, like he should have, Dai gave up and gave the baby away. Fuck! He was a fuck up! He called to hear Dai's voice! Not to ask him how he was! Not to ask if he needed help! Not to say 'I love you' or 'I'm sorry' or "Please forgive me, please!' None of that. Not even to ask how his own child- his own flesh and blood was! He could kick his own ass, and now... again, his gorgeous, priceless, princess Dai was on the phone. What should he do? What made tonight of all other nights different?

'Mom....?' His heart skipped a beat as he heard his lover's sweet voice. He swallowed down hard, his humility and fear. "Dai....." It was all he could muster.

((sorry if this is sort of all over the place... lol, well I hope it's alright <3 was trying to hurry.)
 
[No worries. <3]

There was a long pause after he spoke his mother's title, though he already knew who it was. The same caller had been disturbing him all day and hanging up shortly afterward. "Listen, you little pain-in-the-ass. Stop calling my house, understand?" He questioned, though he spoke all this to the person who hadn't had the courage to speak up. That was until he heard the deep, familiar voice ringing in his ear and registering in ihs brain immediately. Almost on instinct, his arms tightened around the small infant in his arms and he frowned. There was a very long pause on the other end and surely Anthony thought that Dai might've hung up, though that wasn't the case. He was sitting there, dumbfounded on why the other had called him like this. Ah well. It was much safer than coming to visit him face-to-face, for Dai would've beat the hell out of him. Ah yes, for such a small male, the boy sure was a fiery one and he had enough of a wild side in him to even take down Anthony if he was angry enough.

This was the man that had been too damna fraid to tell his own family that he had a son. Sure, Dai knew how it was but he had eventually let them know. His mother had supported ihm through the entire ordeal. Unfortunately for Anthony, his parents seemed to disagree with everything he had decided and had even tried to convince him to say the baby wasn't his. Rotten parents if there ever were. The dark-haired male peered down to the infant in his arms who was now awake, though not crying at all. Ryder had heard the deep, comforting voice that he had been so familiar with in his first few months of life. For the first time in a long time, Ryder giggled and reached up, hands touching the phone and cooing quietly. Dai kissed the boy's wandering fingers and then his soft, downy dark hair. The infant instantly recognized who was on the phone because he knew his mother, but he knew his father as well.

"... What do you want, Anthony?" He questioned and sighed as he sank back against the seat. He adjusted the baby in his arms and rose onto his feet, moving silently out of the nursery and to his own bedroom. The baby would be able to sleep better with him in his arms, so he had decided for the most obvious decision. "Why are you calling so late?" God knew where the man was. He figured he'd moved in with one of his friends or found some new girl or guy to be with. Did he care? Well, Anthony had been his first love. There was no way that he would ever stop loving him, yet he would eventually have to get over it. "Ryder's trying to get to sleep." He informed, frowning and laying back on the bed with the baby supported on his chest.​
 
As Dai spoke again Anthony's stomach tightened and he got butterflies. It was hard to speak, hard to even breath, "...." Then he inhaled, "Dai I..." He breathed again, wetting his lips, "Dai, I wanna come see you. I...I'm really sorry, Dai." He rubbed at his forehead roughly with his thumb and index finger. He was at a payphone a few miles away from where he and Dai and Ryder used to live, now just where the two latter stay. "I wanna see you and the baby..."

The last time he had come over, they had gotten into their worst fight. He had made the biggest mistake of his life, and regretted it everyday. He unleashed on him, blamed him for everything, said everything he didn't mean to say, and then was scum enough to push and throw Dai away. He acted as if he were the victim, and Dai had gotten pregnant on purpose or something. It made his stomach twist to remember what he'd done. Why did he want to hurt Dai? He wanted Dai to stop loving him and vise-versa, because of what? Why would he want the best, realest, strongest, wonderful thing in his life to disappear? Because of them? He was such an idiot! Only now did he realize that his life was was his life, and not theirs. They didn't have to wake up and feel like shit everyday because the man that he loved was alone, and with his son that he had abandoned. If he could undo anything, it would be everything that he'd done wrong to Dai and Ryder. He would have stayed that night, and not be pressured by that fucker of a brother. He never would've had that girl call. Anthony wished that he could rewind time; he would go all the way back to the beginning of Dai's pregnancy, and he would have never left his side.

Anthony sighed out shakily, anxiously. He knew that Dai would probably protest his idea of coming over, especially so late. It was ten thirty, no father coming to see his son should have planned to so late at night.
 
There was a dead silence on the other end. He had heard those apologies before and none of them meant anythign anymore, for Anthony continued to do what he wanted and ignore Dai's opinion on it altogether. "Why should I Believe you? You've apologized before and you just went right on doing whatever the hell you want to do." He commented. There was anger in his voice, yet there was a hesitation and sadness in it as well. He didn't want to keep Ryder away from Anthony. Not because he believed ANthony deserved to be a father, but that Ryder deserved to have one. He held the young infant close, caressing through his hair lovingly and nuzzling his cheek against hte top of his head. His thoughts went back to that last fateful night that he and Anthony had even spoke...

He had been waiting for hours on Anthony to come home. He was worried beyond all reason and to hear some girl tell him to stay away from Anthony, that their baby meant nothing to him... it had broken his heart. What had Dai done to deserve such treatment? He hadn't been on Anthony's ass all the time. He had just requested that he tell him if he was goign to be out late, if he was going to be somewhere. He didn't want to stay up all night worrying, after all. Well, the man eventually came back and they had gotten into a huge argument. Apparently it was his fault for getting pregnant. Oh yes, he had just planned from the very beginning on bringing a baby into the world. Their fight had escalated and he had been pushed into one of the shelves where quite a lot of glass figurines and antiques lay. They had shattered, slicing up Dai's skin pretty badly. Luckily, they hadn't left physical scars, yet emotional ones at the realization that Anthony honestly didn't want to be there.

Or at least that was how he thought of it. His eyes screwed shut and he sighed silently to himself. "... For an hour at the most. Ryder's sleeping adn I don't want to have to mess up his sleeping schedule." he informed. With that, the man hung up, curling up tightly underneath the bedsheets and holding Ryder close.

He had loved, no, still loved ANthony to death. Meeting in high school had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. How a boy like Dai, sweet, quiet, artistic had run into a man like Anthony who ahd been a football star... it was hard to fathom. He didn't ask questions, though. He knew he had to have done something special to get such a wonderful man.

So what had gone wrong?​
 
Anthony's lips pressed into a fine line, and his fingers drummed on the side of the phone in nervousness. He would understand completely if Dai had told him no, but he would also be saddened greatly, and probably angered, which he didn't want. When he heard his first comment, it was like a stab. He had been like that, he was stupid, but... he didn't want to be like that anymore. "Yeah, but Dai I...." His voice elevated the slightest bit, before he paused and breathed. Anthony had always had an anger problem, it was partially why he was so good at sports, but unfortunately, partially why he and Dai had broke up. Dai usually, well Dai did bring out the best in him. It was just that after what had happened with Anthony's parents, he didn't allow it to happen any longer. He started to shut Dai out, and that was their problem - his main problem. Dai helped him so much, had made him so happy that when he started to stress and shut him out, things that were bad for him before had just become worse.

He let it go and listened, Dai was absolutely right, and he would prove that he wanted to change by admitting it. "Okay,..." His deep brown eyes lowered to the floor, but when he heard Dai give the okay, his heart skipped a beat. He gasped lightly, "Oh, Dai,...Thank you. Okay, I'll be over in a couple of minutes." The nineteen year old hung up the phone and happily frolicked to his car. He hopped in and drove towards the apartment complex that he had once shared with his lover. Once he arrived, he quickly got out of his car and smoothed out his clothes. He then looked at his reflection, quickly smoothing out his dark brown hair.

Sighing he shrugged and before leaving his car, took a long swig of Vodka. He had still been drinking. How could he not have? His better half practically couldn't stand him, and he had gotten used to it. He kept a bottle in his car, and only drank Vodka because it didn't really hold any scent. And although he shouldnt' be drinking on this visit, since it was his first in months, he couldn't help it. He was so nervous, he hadn't see Dai in so long, he was afraid that Dai wouldn't find him attractive anymore. Afraid that he had done so much wrong that he had just disgusted him. He bit his lip, he was afraid that Dai found someone new, someone better, like he deserved. Letting go, he sighed, took one last drink and closed the car door. Finally turing, heading for the direction of the home.

At the front door his heart raced, and his insides contracted, it was hard to breath, and thank goodness it was freezing outside. If it hadn't been, he'd be sweating. Raising a shaky hand up to the door, he gulped forcefully, and gently knocked.
 
Dai hadn't really bothered to change his clothes. The large, oversized shirt hung to his mid-thigh and covered anything that needed to be covered anyway. His long, dark hair fell about his features as he came out of the bedroom. He gently laid Ryder down in his playpen to rest until Anthony arrived. Meanwhile, he made a pot of coffee, knowing that he'd probably need it by the end of the night. Either from stress or just exhaustion. His fist moved to rub tiredly at his closed eye, trying to keep himself awake. he didn't want Anthony to stay long, for he needed his rest and Ryder definitely needed some sleep. Luckily, the little baby hadn't woken up after being put down in the playpen. he had simply resorted to suckling on the edge of his blanket, cooing all too sweetly in his sleep. The boy was the perfect mixture of Dai's and Anthony's genes. Soft, downy brown hair had been inherited from Anthony and those sweet, forest green eyes were taken from the younger male.

After hearing the knock upon the door, Dai let out a slow, hesitant breath. He wasn't sure what he was doing, though he could only hope that the man had honestly changed. He smoothed out his shirt and moved to the door, unlocking the several locks that kept ti shut. After having such a temperamental lover like Anthony, anyone would want to be as safe as possible. He opened up the door and his eyes moved up to peer at the much taller male, a faint smile on his features. "Hey there." He murmured, opening up the door and letting him in.

"Try to be quiet... he's getting some rest." He murmured, motioning tot he playpen and sipping on his cup of coffee. "Youw ant some coffee, Anthony?"​
 
Sighing heavily, Anthony shut his eyes in plea that Dai would be alone. He wouldn't know what to do if he saw Dai with another guy or something, or if Dai looked unwell. He licked his lips and began to tap a foot when he heard the door's bolts and locks turning. He shoved his hands into the pocket of his coat and froze when the door was opened to reveal an angelic Dai, looking healthy and well and single? It was hard not to smile as big as the feeling of warmth that he now felt, but Anthony managed to only show a small bit of teeth. "Hey." He slid a hand out and reached forward, but refrainded from touching the other. He shouldn't.

Walking in Anthony was taken by complete surprise. When he left, they had just recently moved in to there place. The decorating was shit, the furnishings were shit, it was a mess - now everything was perfect. Everything was nice and orderly, and clean. Brown eyes quickly lost interest in the home though, as his reason for coming stood in front of him. He looked Dai up and down, but discreetly. He was relieved. He was beautiful, as usual, and eating well, and he did look a bit tired, but he glowed with something, something he hadn't before. It pleased Anthony to no end to see that Dai still slept in his shirts. IT warmed his heart, and as his brown eyes slid up Dai's soft, smooth legs, he was hit with memories. Oh, the times they'd shared, how he missed them. He was brought back to earth by the sound of that sweet, so close to home voice.

He nodded and looked down at his son. His mouth shot open. He was so big! "Oh my God..." He whispered and found his eyes watering, overwhelmed by what he felt when he saw him. He was such an idiot, he had missed so much! He shook his head slowly, and turned his body away from Dai, he didn't want him so him him like this. "Uh... sure, thank you." He stared down at his son for long minutes. I swear, I swear son, baby, I'll change. I love you more then anything! And I'm going to show it! I'm going to come over every day! After so much resisting, a tear fell from his eye. He sniffled quickly and wiped it away. He couldn't cry now, if he did, he'd break down completely, and he didn't want to do that. He turned away and wiped some more, thankful that Dai was in the kitchen. Once his eyes were dry, he patted into the kitchen, and stared with soft eyes at his ex lover. "Wow,... He's gotten big,... huge." He smiled and chuckled lightly. "....." he wanted to ask him how he was but, he just felt like... like... he was afraid to speak to Dai. He was so embarrassed and full of guilt. "Mm,.. Wants some help?"
 
Dai closed the door as quietly as possible behind Anthony, locking the bolts back and then turning his attention to the older man with a faint smile. Even if Anthony had left on sour terms and they hadn't been the biggest fans of each other, Dai was still comforted greatly by wearing the shirts that the man had left. They still had the man's scent to them and that had helped him to sleep on more than one occasion. He gazed around the house, knowing that this place would have to be very different to Anthony. They had barely gotten by with a couch and a TV when he had first been here, yet now the place was well-furnished and to his liking. He had no reason to ask anyone else what they thought of the decorations, so he could get it done even faster. He headed into the kitchen to get the man a cup of coffee, bringing it back and smiling softly to himself. He was glad that the other showed so much emotion now. Before, it had been constant impassiveness and a sense of "I don't give a damn". To see the man's eyes glittering with held back tears brought joy to his heart.

"I know." He giggled. The boy didn't overeat or anything, though it was obvious that this young infant would grow up to be as big, if not bigger, than Anthony himself. it was obvious where the little baby got his size from, at least. Dai bent down and gently brought Ryder into his arms. With a soft yawn, the baby stirred and his eyes opened to peer at Anthony. He let out a soft giggle, hands reaching out and holding out to Anthony. "Good to know he still ercognizes you." Dai smiled and giggled, looking to the infant. "You want to see Daddy, sweetheart?" He whispered gently, kissing his soft hair and carefully shifting the young child into Anthony's arms. The boy truly had gotten bigger, though he was still small in Anthony's arms. He cooed gently, fingers curling happily into th eman's shirt and tugging, gnawing on the fabric.

"have a seat." Dai nodded and motioned to the couch. He sat down, crossing one leg over the other and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "... You been okay?" He questioned. Dai was obviously not the biggest fan of Anthony's family and they didn't think too highly of him either, though Dai could give a rat's ass what they thought. He would've tried to contact Anthony if not for the man's mother and father. The young eighteen-year-old had simply been thrown into a situatino that was unexpected for either of them. Dai had plans to go to college, to become a graet writer, and his dreams had been halted at the realization that he would have a child. He was no whore or streetwalker like the man's parents made him out to be. His purity had been given to ANthony and only to Anthony. Despite his friends' numerous attempts to set the young male up with other men after Anthony had left, Dai had refused every one, knowing where his heart truly lied.

"He's quite a lot like you. It's funny." He smiled softly and looked to the young infant that was curled up against Anthony's chest. "Some of the same facial expressions... he even has the same laugh. It's amazing." He grinned, looking to the older man and tilting his head.​
 
Anthony's stomach dropped at the word 'daddy'. Daddy? It had been so long since he'd been called that. He smiled warmly at his son, sighing, once again thoroughly overwhelmed. His eyes shifted to his former lover as he spoke, a small smile lighting his lips. He nodded, and sat down, chuckling. "Hey baby,.." he looked at his son, and wrapped his arms around his waist as he sat him up. He couldn't help but laugh again, it was magical and contagious, the feeling. He hadn't felt such immense joy in so long. He raised his hands to allow his son to grip his thumbs. "You're so big baby,... You're my little tough guy, hm?" His son giggled and Anthony once again felt himself choke up, he lifted the baby to his chest in a tight, yet mutually comfortable embrace. He bit his lower lip and breathed in his son's scent. His eyes trailed over to Dai, he nodded, "Fine.... You? You look...." Beautiful, amazing, glowing, so good! "Good, and healthy..." He nodded slowly, then looked away, feeling a bit awkward.

"Really?" he perked up again. "That's crazy, I gotta see." He gently began to pat the baby's backside to soothe him. "He has your eyes." His voice was soft then and he smiled just as so. "Hopefully he'll get the rest of your good traits too," he smirked, "You're personality, brains..."
 
The boy was laughing happily all the while, despite being tired. He held onto the man's large thumbs and squeezed lightly, cooing and tugging happily as he looked up to the older man. The boy was so ecstatic and happy, a nice change from his normal quietness. Meanwhile, Dai settled down gently on the couch, smiling to the older man. "I've been fine." He sighed softly. "Never getting any sleep because RYder's always wanting to play and he's always up." He laughed softly. "But other than that, I'm pretty good. Mom's helping take care of money and everything so I can keep paying rent until I get a job." He murmured. The young male's mother really was an angel to them both. She treated ANthony as if he were her own son, despite her husband's disagreement with the whole situation. Even after the two had broken up, she had called Anthony every so often to check up on him and see if he was okay.

"He's going to be just like you when he gets older, probably." He laughed and shook his head. "But I don't mind." He grinned. "Maybe he'll find a girl or a boy that loves him just as much as I did you." He almost said "do", though he quickly corrected himself. He didn't want to seem like he couldn't make it on his own. Even without Anthony's help, he was raising the young boy to be a wonderful ltitle boy. Ryder was playing quietly with the buttons on Anthony's shirt, tugging and banging his little fists against them with playful giggles emanating every so often.​
 
"Oh?" He should have guessed that, the little boy was so full of life and energy, how could Dai ever sleep. He looked to Dai and nodded, "I uh... talked to your mom a couple of days ago," he said a bit sheepishly, and smiling so. He felt, like when he had first arrived awkward and so guilty when he spoke to Dai's mom. He always wondered if she knew what had happened on their last night, or if she knew that he hadn't even came to see the baby. She was always so nice to him, it made him want to hate himself. Dai must've got that from her, he was the kindest person he knew as well.

Staring, he listened as Dai finished his words. It was hard for him not to wince or show some sort of pain when he said 'did' love him. There it was - he didn't love him anymore. Jesus! Anthony was still in love with Dai, he had always thought that he was, but coming here had only showed him how much. Trying to ignore it, and seem unaffected, he turned his brown eyes back down to his son. He hoped he wasn't like him, he was a mess, sure maybe he had his life together in some aspects, but he wasn't happy. He was far, far from that, and so angry a lot of the time. Shaking his son's thumbs, he giggled, "You wanna fight? Hmmm?" He lifted his thumbs and brushed them up against the baby's lips, play. "Well,... He'd be lucky to find someone like you..."
 
"Really, now?" He did know that she never gave up on Anthony. She had spoken to Dai to try to convince him to give him another chance. She aws a forgiving woman and Dai knew that she was right. He sighed softly and crossed one leg over the other, smoothing out the large shirt and keeping it at his mid-thigh to keep himself decent. His green eyes turned to the young baby who was laughing happily, holding onto the older man's thumbs and tugging. He really did laugh just like the man. Dai couldn't help but smile at the prospect. Hopefully Ryder wouldn't go through what he adn Anthony had. Not just because of their relationship, of course. Dai and Anthony had to keep ti a secret at school. Dai was ridiculed for being gay and the few people that knew about Anthony teased him endlessly about Dai. Things just hadn't gone so well in high school.

"How's... uhm..." He rubbed the back of his neck and furrowed his brows. "Your family?" He shrugged lightly. He would be the better person and at least inquire on their condition. They may have disliked him, but he still made an effort to be nice to them. They were the man's family, after all. Ryder cooed softly and stuck one of Anthony's fingers in his mouth, gnawing and biting at it with his small teeth. He grinned cutely, looking up to his father with a happy, innocent expression in his eyes.​
 
"Oh,.. they're uh... they're good. " He nodded very little and looked from Dai to his baby. It was amazing that Dai still even cared, or wondered even if he didn't care. They were all such ass holes to him. They never said it to his face, but behind his back they would say so many things about him. They'd say he was a freak, or just a very skinny, flat chested girl. They asked Anthony once if he 'even had a dick,' implying that he was just a female. To his face, they were just very rude and quiet. They all acted like a bunch of ignorant rednecks around Dai, making faces and whispering as if Dai didn't see. It was embarrassing, and made him sick. He had resented his family so much now.

"Thanks for asking,..." He glanced back at Dai's green eyes then lowered them slowly to take in his form. God, how he missed him. He missed everything about him, and being with him so badly. He ached as he scanned the boy's small body, he wished he could pull him into his arms like he used to, he wished he could hold him and kiss him, and just lay beside him like they used to. Biting his lip he looked away and leaned back into the couch a little bit harder then he had meant to, the alcohol was beginning to take affect, but he held Ryder close to his chest carefully.

 
True, the family had been quite cruel to him. Yet Dai just ignored those too-obvious whispers and the disgusted faces. He had done no wrong to any of his family, yet eahc member seemed to enjoy treating him like hell. He smiled faintly and looked to the young infant who was curled up tightly against Anthony's chest, yawning softly. It was such a shame that a baby like Ryder, a gift to the world and a sweet young infant, was hated so much by Anthony's family and Dai's father. To hate a child like that was too cruel for words, and Dai knew that they would get what was coming to them eventually. He stroked Ryder's hari gently as the boy yawned, soon calming down and remaining quiet as he laid against Anthony's chest. Soon enough, the soft, sweet breathing escaped his chest and he began to sleep, cooing faintly as he snoozed.

Dai smiled at the sight and gently brought a blanket over to lay over the small boy. "Don't worry about it. They may not like me, but at least I have the decency to ask about them every oncei n a while." He and Anthony hadn't spoken about that trick that they had played on him to get him to leave Anthony alone. It was best forgotten since Dai hated being deceived. How angry he and Anthony had been that night that they had screamed and shouted. It had escalated into something too horrible and Dai had injuries because of it. He acted as if it didn't bother him, though. Glass shards in the skin were painful, but he was screaming at Anthony to get out through all that pain.

Horrible memories. He gently took RYder and nodded, holding him and bringing him into the nursery where he laid him down in his crib. He tucked him in and then returned with a quiet sigh. "I'm... sorry about what happened before. I shouldn't have screamed like that."​
 
Anthony grinned, there was nothing quite so calming and relaxing as having a precious infant fall asleep on his chest. Wrapping a gentle arm around his son, his other gingerly pet the feather-soft hair on his head. He dipped his head to plant a kiss on it, and smell him. His heart was over flowing with joy at the moment, he couldn't believe this baby was partially his. Smiling, he watched Dai standing there with a blanket. Dai was amazing too, so strong, but so soft and willing to make someone else happy. He couldn't believe he did all of this alone, well he could, but what he meant was that it was amazing, and knew that it was something that he was incapable of. He gave up his son, and waited for Dai to come back.

Upon hearing his lover's words, Anthony immediately leaned forward, sitting with his head in his hands, "Oh Gpd, Dai. What are you talking about?" He was so humiliated, how could Dai be the first to apologize? Because he was Dai, supernatural and beyond average in all aspects. It killed him, and he knew, ever since he'd met the dark haired angel that this is what people really meant by 'killing with kindness'. Dai and his mother did it to him, all the time. They were so good and kind and right, they made him feel like shit, like the worst scum on earth, like he was lower then low. How could anyone compete with someone like them? Or stand beside them, and not feel inadequate? But they weren't looking for competition, and definitely didn't mean to make anyone feel like shit, that's just they way they were, and they were blessing to those who could love them and try for them. If anyone felt like less then worthy it was their fault, and they must've been doing something wrong to feel guilty or ashamed to be around them because if they were right, by all means, they would feel nothing but loved.

Sitting with his hands in his head, he shook it slightly and sighed. "Don't apologize." He lifted his head to look at Dai in his face - in those gorgeous green eyes, "Look,..." It was so hard because he felt so ashamed of it, and he had never been good at admitting he was wrong. Slightly frustrated, he stood and walked over to Dai. Standing at six three, Anthony towered over Dai, and although his head only reached up to Anthony's chest, he could still easily smell that sweet scent he was so familiar and in love with. He had stood for a reason, but now being so close felt like he could suffocate, he had to touch him, it had been so long and hard without him. Wanting to pull the other's body to and against his, he extended a somewhat shaky hand to take Dai's, but only took it gently and led him back to the couch to sit with him. "Dai I... You know me, more then anyone, I know, so... I'm not asking for you to forgive me, I'm just saying, you know how hard it is for me to say sorry, which is why was so stupid, and I didn't before...but I regret not doing it everyday because..." He shook his head, then looked at the other in the face, "Because I..."He sighed, "I love you Dai, I'm still in love with you, and I'm not asking for you to love me back, or fall in love with me. I'm just saying, " He turned his face away, and covered his eyes with his other hand, "Saying that I do, and that I love the baby, I'm so in love with the baby." He choked up, he was so full of regret for missing him grow and develop in his first precious months. "He's an amazing, beautiful boy." He brought Dai's hand to his face and opened his palm against it so he could feel it's familiarity, then brought it to his lips to place a very soft, but thorough kiss in it's palm. "I'm sorry babe, Dai. ... I didn't mean...well... I mean I was such an idiot! And I'm so sorry for putting you through everything I did, because I was too stupid and selfish and afraid." He shook his head and kissed Dai's palm again. Oh, how he wished he could rewind time."I'm so sorry, and I don't want you to feel sorry or responsible for any of it. It was my fault, Dai, not yours."
 
He didn't expect the other to reply so emotionally from his apology, though Dai remained utterly quiet through the man's entire speech. His delicate hand held onto the much larger one of his ex-boyfriend, moving over to the couch and settling down quietly. It was natural to him to be so kind and loving. He had been raised by his parents to be kind to everyone and never judge anyone by looks or anything like that. It was impossible to do so through his entirel ife, though it was a well-known fact that Dai was a friend to everyone and always eager to show that friendship through his kindness. Anything else was alien to him and made no sense. He remained quiet as the other continued to speak, his heart swelling a bit with each word. While the man had emptily apologized before, this was earnest and truthful. He could tell by the emotion pouring out of his voice.

"I understand, Anthony." He finally spoke after the other was finished talking. Both of his hands moved to rest on both sides of the other's jaw, feeling the strong jawline beneath and caressing up and down over it with delicate, soothing fingers. He peered into his eyes, able to see the hurt and pain that was caused through this whole mess. As ihs mother said, one had to be willing to give others more chances than they deserved. He wasn't too sure on whether or not Anthony deserved another chance, but he would be cruel to prevent the man from seeing his son. "You can see him whenever you like." He smiled and tilted his head, his fingers curling lightly so his nails scritched lightly against his jawline.

He laened forward and pressed a soft, brief kiss upon Anthony's lips to show that he still was deeply in love with the man. He had been his first and he would always feel something for the man. "I do love you too, Anthony..." He murmured and sighed, his lips pressing softly to the much taller man's forehead. "I don't want Ryder to have to live without knowing his father." He shook his head, smiling up to him weakly. "You're welcome to stay or come here whenever you want."​
 
Anthony leaned into Dai's touch and listened. He felt like he could cry out of happiness and relief. Dai still loved him? And he could see the baby? Bless him and his family, they had raised an angel, jeez, Anthony was blessed to have met him.

He nodded in response to everything the other said, not wanting to speak too much for fear of maybe cracking and crying. The alcohol had made everything so amplified, the feelings he felt, and he could easily cry with the way it had loosened him up. "Thank you,... I'll come visit him, everyday." He stared at Dai as he spoke and then felt his heart skip, for several beats. Dai's soft lips were against his own. Mmm, it had been so long. Anthony pressed back eagerly, but not rough.

He wondered if Dai felt the same, if Dai's heart was now, instead of skipping beating hard and fast. He wet his lips and raised his hands to rest them on Dai's slim arms, "Dai..." he breathed and slid his hands up his arms until they met his shoulders. He leaned forward, and pulled the other towards him slightly, he didn't want to push things, but that kiss had made him want so many more. He looked him in the eyes and then lowered his head further until he shut his eyes and pressed his lips against Dai's. He kissed him chastely, then a bit heavier, then he slid his tongue out to trace over the opening of Dai's mouth. His hands slid down to Dai's back.

 
The young male's fingers moved to curl lightly into the fabric of his shirt as the other promised to come visit him every day. "Good." He smiled quietly. "I want to make sure that you're honest and intent on being a part of his life." He sighed softly and kissed his rough cheek gently. "And once you prove it... you can gladly come back here." He nodded. "To live." He murmured. Those soft green eyes sparkled as he peered upward at him, locking eyes with the older man's own and biting his lower lip gently.

The next kiss was a bit heavier than the last few, though he knew that neither of them had had any contact like tihs whatsoever since... well, quite a few months. His eyes fluttered and he was sure his knees gave out beneath him. LUckily, he was sitting down. "Mmmn..." He murmuerd against his lips, his fingers curling into the other's chest, nails slightly scraping against the fabric of his shirt and to the skin underneath. As he was kissed so deeply, his lips parted just a bit to allow the other's probing tongue inside. HIs own lashed out to curl around Anthony's while his hands moved from his chest to his strong arms, squeezing tightly. "Mmm... nnn..."​
 
Oh God, it was so good to have him again. "Hmm," He made little noises of pleasure as the feel of Dai's nails sent good chills down his spine, and leaned forward further, his hands slid down the other's back hungrily, wanting more of Dai, all of him. It had been so long. "Hnn," He grunted into the kiss as it deepened and grew in heat and severity.

Anthony's breath got heavier, to where he was almost panting through his nose. He slid his hands up and down Dai's sides and back until he took his slim waist in his hands and pulled him towards him, and onto his legs that sat partially on the couch. He broke the kiss and bit his lip sheepishly. He wanted him so badly, but... he didn't know if Dai felt the same yet. He didn't want to pressure him. One of his hands lowered to rest and rub at Dai's creamy, bare thigh. He leaned his forehead against Dai's , "I love you," He whispered and caressed his face with his other hand.
 
His mouth worked passionately against the other's own, tasting what he had been craving for so long. After the kiss had parted, his eyes gazed intently into Anthony's own, seeing the love and compassion that sparkled within those beautiful eyes of his. He smiled silently and rested his hands on the other's jawline once more, stroking up and down gently and feeling the skin beneath his fingers. He had wanted so badly to be with the man for so long. his fingers moved to tangle in the man's hair, gently stroking over his scalp and leaning his head down to press a loving, tender kiss to his forehead.

From his position in his lap, he was a little bit taller than the man. He smiled down to him and rested his hands on his chest. "I know, ANthony..." He whispered, bending and pressing another kiss to his lips. "I love you too." He murmured. As the large hand moved to rest on his bare thigh, goosebumps rose beneath his hand. He was bare entirely save for that shirt he wore, for he wasn't honestly expectign anyone to be coming to the house that night. His hands moved to rest on the other's arms once more, squeezing while the hand caressed up and down over his naked thigh.​
 
"Mmm," Anthony's eyes slid shut as Dai's small, soft hands brought themselves onto his head and hair. He was like a little boy when it came to Dai playing with his hair, he absolutely loved it. He tilted his head upwards and took Dai's lips in another kiss, his tongue slid easily into the other's mouth this time, feelings and tasting all of it. His hand continued to moved up and down Dai's thigh, though a bit faster and more rigid then before. His other hand found the end of the shirt and slid beneath it, "Mph," he grunted into the kiss, he had tried not to get too excited, but it found it hard with the small male on his lap and all. It had brought such comfort and pleasure to see Dai in one of his shirts, it had told him that he had no interest in another man, and reminded him of all of their times together that started out with Dai in his shirts and ended with Dai naked and panting.

Sliding his hand up and the shirt, his hand rubbed heavily against Dai's skin, feeling every bit of it. "Mnn," Anthony grunted, dying to see and taste the bare skin of Dai as his hand did. His hand slid over across Dai's chest, gently rubbing and pleasurably tweaking his nipples.
 
"M-Mmmn..." His head tossed back and he let out a soft breath as the other's hand slid underneath the end of his shirt and moved upwards over his bare thigh and bare bottom. His dark hair clung to his pale cheeks as the older man's hands ran over his bare skin bneath the shirt, hungrily tasting every inch of the young male with his open palms. As the hand moved upwards to his bare chest, he let out a soft groan and let his head fall to the side, a lok of complete bliss and happiness on his face. "Anthony..." He breathed heatedly, his hands curling into the man's forearm as the hand teased his small, perky nipples. He had missed this so much. PErhaps that aws why he was so eager to submit to the older male. It had always been easy to submit to him.

His fingers moved to the bottom of the other's shirt and curled lightly before gently edging it up and over his lover's head. "I mised you... mmmn, I missed you, Anthony..." He whispered into his ear, nibbling at his lobe and panting erotically.​
 
Anthony smiled as he heard all of Dai's little breaths and noises, he had missed them so much. When he pulled his shirt off, he was surprised and got instant goosebumps, and sighed out when Dai was at his ear. "I missed you too..." He breathed and gripped the bottoms of the smaller male's shirt to do the same. He pulled the shirt off and gasped slightly, biting his lip, he hadn't noticed that he was completely naked beneath the shirt until then.

His brows knitted together in pleasure, just at the site of his Dai, "Hoh God..." he breathed out and took Dai's face in his hands to kiss him. Breaking the kiss only led to more kisses that trailed down the other's neck. "Mmm, Dai..." he breathed, if he had a chance of self control before, it was all lost now. His hands trailed down his soft body, until they rested on his chest and gently pushed against it to lay him down. He was panting, and trembling now. It was like their first time again, Anthony was nervous, but so full of desire and love for Dai that it overpowered everything else. He leaned over Dai and kissed him, 'Dai,.. I've missed you...so much," Dai was all he had known, before they'd met in his senior year, he had dated a few girls, but never had done anything other then kiss and pet. IT was nothing compared to this, Dai was his first, and last when it came to love like this at least. Anthony knew that no one would ever touch his heart like Dai had.

His hands rubbed against Dai's thighs, spreading them, and Anthony sat up. He lowered himself to kiss them, trailing hot, wet kisses up and down them with hungry and admiration. (sorry I'm taking so long... I'm preoccupied baby sitting, and naturally slow so... :lol: ^-^;))
 
Dai knew that the other was probably surprised to find that he was abre underneath the shirt, though that didn't make him any less attractive. Oh no, the boy was pristine and delicate, beautiful in all definitions of the word. His naked, pale thighs gently shifted as the other tugged his shirt over his head. His nails curled lightly into his chest and he sealed their lips together only briefly before he was being laid back on his back on the couch. "Mmm..." His eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of the lips trailing over his pale thighs.

"Mmm... I've missed you as well, Anthony..." He bit the back of his hand to keep quiet, his back arching and a groan of desperation escaping his chest. It had been long. Too long since he had felt the sensation of the wet, hot kisses against his smooth thighs.

[It's okay. I'm replying to like thousands of posts anyway. xD]​
 
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