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Chapman
Super-Earth
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2019
- Location
- Ye olde Europe
From medieval woods to modern cities, horse riders to car-toting men, swords and sorcery to guns and empirical method - all with a healthy dose of sex - Chapman offers it all.
That's me. I'm Chapman. I don't usually talk about myself in the third person, it just sounded like a decent opening, you know. Ehm, anyway...
Hi. Returning to Blue Moon after a while. Guess you can't keep a perv from perving for long, can you. I want to advertise myself as the go-to guy for your fantasy adventure porn needs. Do you enjoy fantasy settings? Like the idea of being someone else in a different world, if only in imagination? Is your idea of a good time to role play fights with dangerous beasts, traversing ancient catacombs, dealing with criminal elements and meeting exotic races?
Then you came to the right place. What I am looking for is a fantasy-themed role play with roughly two to one smut to story ratio. The specifics of the story can differ: there are a number of scenarios that we could play, a few among them being:
- Couple of adventurers hooking up for jobs and jobs.
- a VIP and her bodyguard who really guards her body.
- Wanted person and bounty hunter playing cat and fu... I mean mouse.
- A really thankful rescuee.
And more. Currently I do not have a single favoured scenario that I would like to play out more than anything else and am open to propositions. My character can also vary depending on the story we choose as well as your preferences, but I have four favourite archetypes:
- Classic Adventurer (CA). CA is a laid-back free spirit, enjoying the freedom of the adventurer's lifestyle. He doesn't have any dark past that haunts him, nor any specific goal that he lives for: he takes his time enjoying the world and doing his job, which he loves to its fullest. CA is what you think of when a "happy adventurer" springs to your mind.
- Perverted Paladin (PP). PP is similiar to CA in that he is also largely laid back, but the devil is in the details. PP is a champion of the goddess of earthly joys; it is his pleasure as well as his duty to spread these pleasures wherever he goes, as well as make sure that everyone in the world can enjoy them. CA might fuck your character because he's horny and she's cute: PP will do it because he's horny, she's cute and it is his god's commandment that he does so. It is not all roses and strawberry jam for the goddess's champions, though, as they often have to confront those who would stop others from enjoying themselves.
- Semi-civilized Barbarian (SB). Whether from the mountains of the north, plains of the west, swamps of the east or jungles of the south, SB is an uncivilized man. Hardened by the lifestyle of his and his people, he is a man of few words but many actions. Not a complete savage, SB is familiar with the more civilized world, but he tolerates it at best and despises at worst. While not necessarily evil, his morals are fluid, constructed towards his survival and growth above all else. It would take work to make him care deeply for other man or woman.
- Catching-Up Hero (CH). This one was made with modern fantasy in mind, but can perhaps be used in classic fantasy setting. Basically, CH is someone who did not ask for a dangerous, adventurous lifestyle but has it thrust upon him. Maybe he was bit by a werewolf and now has to deal with his new newlyfound lycantrophy, or perhaps he has earned the ability to see "the outer realm" spirits due to an accident, and now is of interest to an organization dealing with these beings. Whatever the details, CH used to be an ordinary person before suddenly having to drastically change his lifestyle.
Here are some images depicting the above archetypes: CA, PP, SB, CH. All of the artwork belong to its creators.
The PP is a more ambitious of the four , my attempt at making a character who not only has a reason to be a smutty horndog but can also possibly bring some nuance to the story. Not a typical Lawful Stupid, holy-shiny paladin but merely a champion of a goddess with specific, if pleasurable, set of rules to follow. CA on the other hand is pretty much an "easy mode" character, certainly fun to play but very simple. SB is a decent enough concept that I can play out well. CH is also more ambitious in the way that, with him, I have to balance between being "a cool guy" hero and "a bit new to all of this" person.
As mentioned before, though, my character may vary depending on what we agree on. He doesn't even have to follow any of the above archetypes. The race of my character matters to a certain extent: I do not enjoy playing the more bestial races, like orcs or minotaurs, and my favourite is a boring human, but I am also comfortable playing races that are close to humans, like half-orcs, half-elves, werewolves et cetera.
I can also be convinced to try and play a different kind of character, as well as give a science-fiction setting a try. Just be aware that I'm not an experienced sci-fi writer so the science part of my writing would be hastly made up at best.
As for your character? I am opened to human and non-human characters Fantasy worlds are filled to the brims with sexy races that I would like to cohort with: miqo'te, draenei, various kinds of elves and fae and more. What I am not interested in, though, are any kinds of furries and scalies. No, catgirls do not count as furry - if you have doubts, consult The Furry Chart. Long story short: knife ears, cat ears, horns or tails - good. Fur or scale - bad.
I have an f-list, but my likings are relatively vanilla. The more noteworthy of them are here:
- I am more of a dom than a sub, but what I really like is to switch. Being on top is great, but sometimes what the guy wants is to be bossed around, you know?
- Oral sex is the best thing mankind has ever invented. Use your character's mouth a lot and I'll love it.
- Breasts are wonderful and should be worshiped whenever possible. Big, small, medium, as long as they are in my character's face and hands, I am happy.
- Glasses. Glasses are sexy. What else can I say?
- I like to role play group scenarios. This isn't a must but it's something I enjoy.
As for what I really do not feel, other than the unholy trinity, are the aforementioned furries and scalies, as well as anal. Sorry, butt lovers, somehow I never got into it, neither in real life nor in writing.
Now's the time for a more technical part of the thread. I will try to make it short and to the point.
Personal info you might want to know: over 30 years old. Male. European. Timezone is GMT+1.
Platform: I prefer playing via either PMs or e-mail, Skype and Discord are acceptable.
Availability: I usually write once per day, occasionally I can write more or less. I'll let you know if I need a longer break, I expect you to do the same.
Lenght of reply: I do not make a big deal out of it. Give me enough to work with, I will do the same.
Lenght of story: both long and short-term stories are fine. Perhaps we should start with something short and, if we click, make it a longer tale?
Story's world: existing universe or our own creation, both are okay.
Grammar: do try to write well. Call me a Grammar Nazi if you must, but poor grammar is my turn-off. Sieg heil!
Writing style: this one is important, hence why the red colour and underline and all that jazz. The thing is, I do not want to be our GM: I want us to share that responsibility. You see, I have issues putting in effort over long periods of time: I tire out easily. In order to avoid that, I'd want us both to uphold the responsibility of keeping our fantasy porn story going. The way I see it is as a sort of "freeplay", where both of us can take the story into whatever direction we want to. Lets say that I write a message where our lovely adventurers travel towards a nearby town. You can then decide whether or not they arrive there peacefully or if something happens on the way. Then, I can take your idea and continue it as I please, as long as it makes logical sense. This goes for sex scenes as well: I believe that a little bit of "god-moding" is needed in order to make sex scenes fluent. If my character wants to mount yours and do it like they do on Discovery Channel, I would prefer to just emote pushing her on the bed and taking from behind: of course, if you have a different idea, you can always emote her, say, grabbing MC's hands and pushing him back to ride him like on a rodeo instead. As long as we are respectful of one another, it is all right in my book.
You've made it that far? Darn, congrats. This thread turned out much longer than I expected. Your reward is 69 experience points and samples of my writing. Enjoy!
That's me. I'm Chapman. I don't usually talk about myself in the third person, it just sounded like a decent opening, you know. Ehm, anyway...
*
Hi. Returning to Blue Moon after a while. Guess you can't keep a perv from perving for long, can you. I want to advertise myself as the go-to guy for your fantasy adventure porn needs. Do you enjoy fantasy settings? Like the idea of being someone else in a different world, if only in imagination? Is your idea of a good time to role play fights with dangerous beasts, traversing ancient catacombs, dealing with criminal elements and meeting exotic races?
Then you came to the right place. What I am looking for is a fantasy-themed role play with roughly two to one smut to story ratio. The specifics of the story can differ: there are a number of scenarios that we could play, a few among them being:
- Couple of adventurers hooking up for jobs and jobs.
- a VIP and her bodyguard who really guards her body.
- Wanted person and bounty hunter playing cat and fu... I mean mouse.
- A really thankful rescuee.
And more. Currently I do not have a single favoured scenario that I would like to play out more than anything else and am open to propositions. My character can also vary depending on the story we choose as well as your preferences, but I have four favourite archetypes:
- Classic Adventurer (CA). CA is a laid-back free spirit, enjoying the freedom of the adventurer's lifestyle. He doesn't have any dark past that haunts him, nor any specific goal that he lives for: he takes his time enjoying the world and doing his job, which he loves to its fullest. CA is what you think of when a "happy adventurer" springs to your mind.
- Perverted Paladin (PP). PP is similiar to CA in that he is also largely laid back, but the devil is in the details. PP is a champion of the goddess of earthly joys; it is his pleasure as well as his duty to spread these pleasures wherever he goes, as well as make sure that everyone in the world can enjoy them. CA might fuck your character because he's horny and she's cute: PP will do it because he's horny, she's cute and it is his god's commandment that he does so. It is not all roses and strawberry jam for the goddess's champions, though, as they often have to confront those who would stop others from enjoying themselves.
- Semi-civilized Barbarian (SB). Whether from the mountains of the north, plains of the west, swamps of the east or jungles of the south, SB is an uncivilized man. Hardened by the lifestyle of his and his people, he is a man of few words but many actions. Not a complete savage, SB is familiar with the more civilized world, but he tolerates it at best and despises at worst. While not necessarily evil, his morals are fluid, constructed towards his survival and growth above all else. It would take work to make him care deeply for other man or woman.
- Catching-Up Hero (CH). This one was made with modern fantasy in mind, but can perhaps be used in classic fantasy setting. Basically, CH is someone who did not ask for a dangerous, adventurous lifestyle but has it thrust upon him. Maybe he was bit by a werewolf and now has to deal with his new newlyfound lycantrophy, or perhaps he has earned the ability to see "the outer realm" spirits due to an accident, and now is of interest to an organization dealing with these beings. Whatever the details, CH used to be an ordinary person before suddenly having to drastically change his lifestyle.
Here are some images depicting the above archetypes: CA, PP, SB, CH. All of the artwork belong to its creators.
The PP is a more ambitious of the four , my attempt at making a character who not only has a reason to be a smutty horndog but can also possibly bring some nuance to the story. Not a typical Lawful Stupid, holy-shiny paladin but merely a champion of a goddess with specific, if pleasurable, set of rules to follow. CA on the other hand is pretty much an "easy mode" character, certainly fun to play but very simple. SB is a decent enough concept that I can play out well. CH is also more ambitious in the way that, with him, I have to balance between being "a cool guy" hero and "a bit new to all of this" person.
As mentioned before, though, my character may vary depending on what we agree on. He doesn't even have to follow any of the above archetypes. The race of my character matters to a certain extent: I do not enjoy playing the more bestial races, like orcs or minotaurs, and my favourite is a boring human, but I am also comfortable playing races that are close to humans, like half-orcs, half-elves, werewolves et cetera.
I can also be convinced to try and play a different kind of character, as well as give a science-fiction setting a try. Just be aware that I'm not an experienced sci-fi writer so the science part of my writing would be hastly made up at best.
As for your character? I am opened to human and non-human characters Fantasy worlds are filled to the brims with sexy races that I would like to cohort with: miqo'te, draenei, various kinds of elves and fae and more. What I am not interested in, though, are any kinds of furries and scalies. No, catgirls do not count as furry - if you have doubts, consult The Furry Chart. Long story short: knife ears, cat ears, horns or tails - good. Fur or scale - bad.
I have an f-list, but my likings are relatively vanilla. The more noteworthy of them are here:
- I am more of a dom than a sub, but what I really like is to switch. Being on top is great, but sometimes what the guy wants is to be bossed around, you know?
- Oral sex is the best thing mankind has ever invented. Use your character's mouth a lot and I'll love it.
- Breasts are wonderful and should be worshiped whenever possible. Big, small, medium, as long as they are in my character's face and hands, I am happy.
- Glasses. Glasses are sexy. What else can I say?
- I like to role play group scenarios. This isn't a must but it's something I enjoy.
As for what I really do not feel, other than the unholy trinity, are the aforementioned furries and scalies, as well as anal. Sorry, butt lovers, somehow I never got into it, neither in real life nor in writing.
*
Now's the time for a more technical part of the thread. I will try to make it short and to the point.
Personal info you might want to know: over 30 years old. Male. European. Timezone is GMT+1.
Platform: I prefer playing via either PMs or e-mail, Skype and Discord are acceptable.
Availability: I usually write once per day, occasionally I can write more or less. I'll let you know if I need a longer break, I expect you to do the same.
Lenght of reply: I do not make a big deal out of it. Give me enough to work with, I will do the same.
Lenght of story: both long and short-term stories are fine. Perhaps we should start with something short and, if we click, make it a longer tale?
Story's world: existing universe or our own creation, both are okay.
Grammar: do try to write well. Call me a Grammar Nazi if you must, but poor grammar is my turn-off. Sieg heil!
Writing style: this one is important, hence why the red colour and underline and all that jazz. The thing is, I do not want to be our GM: I want us to share that responsibility. You see, I have issues putting in effort over long periods of time: I tire out easily. In order to avoid that, I'd want us both to uphold the responsibility of keeping our fantasy porn story going. The way I see it is as a sort of "freeplay", where both of us can take the story into whatever direction we want to. Lets say that I write a message where our lovely adventurers travel towards a nearby town. You can then decide whether or not they arrive there peacefully or if something happens on the way. Then, I can take your idea and continue it as I please, as long as it makes logical sense. This goes for sex scenes as well: I believe that a little bit of "god-moding" is needed in order to make sex scenes fluent. If my character wants to mount yours and do it like they do on Discovery Channel, I would prefer to just emote pushing her on the bed and taking from behind: of course, if you have a different idea, you can always emote her, say, grabbing MC's hands and pushing him back to ride him like on a rodeo instead. As long as we are respectful of one another, it is all right in my book.
Last but not least, speaking of being respectful, please, do not ghost me. If you do not like something that I do, let me know about it so that we can talk it over. If you need to take a few days of a break from writing, please let me know. If you just want, for whatever reason, to end our fun, let me know. I won't bite, I just hate being left in the dark. Ghosting me is one of few things you can do to piss me off.
I've been told by the staff that telling people off for ghosting is "insulting and inflammatory", so I'll probably stop doing that. I'll instead write it here; if you are a person that tends to ghost others, do not waste yours and, more importantly, my time and just don't talk to me. Also, change your behaviour. Ghosting is, to me, a hurtful, insulting and frustrating behaviour that I do not abide.
I've been told by the staff that telling people off for ghosting is "insulting and inflammatory", so I'll probably stop doing that. I'll instead write it here; if you are a person that tends to ghost others, do not waste yours and, more importantly, my time and just don't talk to me. Also, change your behaviour. Ghosting is, to me, a hurtful, insulting and frustrating behaviour that I do not abide.
*
You've made it that far? Darn, congrats. This thread turned out much longer than I expected. Your reward is 69 experience points and samples of my writing. Enjoy!
"You can do me from any side you want, darling. Except from the rear. I still haven't gotten around that idea. Maybe I'll get to it some day", Guy replied, enjoying the almost assured look of embarassment on elf's face as he allured to her anally treating him. He looked her in the eyes as he reached for the pitcher, waiting until she puts it down, and poured the water over her chest, watching as the warm fluid passed over her white shoulders, round bosom and pink nipples. The man's large hands gently traversed her body, washing her as she washed him, Guy giving her precedence whenever their movements collided with one another.
The sight of elf's naked body, as well as her movement on top of him, brought dirty thoughts back to the highlander's mind. He could feel the certain part of his body standing at attention underneath the water.
"I wonder which job should we take next", Guy said casually. The man leaned against the tub's wall once more; the tenderness of his companion's touch and the warmth of the water have defeated him, and he could only lazily slide his hands over her sides and breasts, caressing the woman's front as she washed him. "Trader's caravan is leaving for Ul'dah tomorrow, and they could use a few more guards. Would be an easy penny, and we wanted to get to the city soon anyway. On the other hand... mmm...", Guy paused as the woman's body accidentally - or not? - touched his manhood, the tip of the thing poking against her belly, "... on the other hand", he resumed after a while, his right hand now resting exclusively on her breast, kneading it softly, "they have some beastmen trouble in the southern Thanalan. Pay's good, but it's damn hot there, and you know how I feel about that".
With his eyes closed, Guy sighed once more, relaxing and enjoying the elf's attentions. Her breast felt warm and soft under his hand; the rocky nipple grazed against his fingers. Tower's left hand slipped underwater, only to close itself around the elf's rear.
The sight of elf's naked body, as well as her movement on top of him, brought dirty thoughts back to the highlander's mind. He could feel the certain part of his body standing at attention underneath the water.
"I wonder which job should we take next", Guy said casually. The man leaned against the tub's wall once more; the tenderness of his companion's touch and the warmth of the water have defeated him, and he could only lazily slide his hands over her sides and breasts, caressing the woman's front as she washed him. "Trader's caravan is leaving for Ul'dah tomorrow, and they could use a few more guards. Would be an easy penny, and we wanted to get to the city soon anyway. On the other hand... mmm...", Guy paused as the woman's body accidentally - or not? - touched his manhood, the tip of the thing poking against her belly, "... on the other hand", he resumed after a while, his right hand now resting exclusively on her breast, kneading it softly, "they have some beastmen trouble in the southern Thanalan. Pay's good, but it's damn hot there, and you know how I feel about that".
With his eyes closed, Guy sighed once more, relaxing and enjoying the elf's attentions. Her breast felt warm and soft under his hand; the rocky nipple grazed against his fingers. Tower's left hand slipped underwater, only to close itself around the elf's rear.
Nat pushed the mysterious woman onto the bed and crawled on top of her until his hard, glistening member dangled over her face. He grabbed a few pillows and stuffed them beneath her head, propping it up so that he could, with some fair leaning forward, reach her mouth. "Open up", he told her, leaning against the wall with one hand and using the other one to guide his member between her lips. He sighed from the pleasure of her mouth closing around him and looked down at the woman, caressing her cheek for a moment before leaning on that hand as well.
What followed was the hardest (imaginary) face fuck Nat ever committed. He showed no mercy to the poor novice, forcing her to take him all the way down his throat. His member slid down her tongue and into her throat time and again, Nat's short pubic hair burying into her nostrils with every deep thrust. Poor girl's head hit against the wall every time, pillows being her only rescue from a possible concussion. Her only respite came when Nat slid out of her mouth, strings of saliva still connecting his manhood to her lips, and turned to Annie to give her the same treatment, although the redhead had her head (head had her head, head had her head, head had her head!) forced down on him instead of being on the receiving end of Nat's thrusts.
Eventually, Nat came, and did so more than he ever did in real life. Half a dozen streaks of warm seed shot against the woman's face, some splashing against her cheeks and nose, some landing across her heaving breasts, and some going straight into her gaping mouth; a reward for a work well done. Annie wasn't let out either, Nat's girlfriend getting her fair share on her face. Happy and spent, Nat lied down on bed... only to quickly realise that he wasn't spent at all.
What followed was the hardest (imaginary) face fuck Nat ever committed. He showed no mercy to the poor novice, forcing her to take him all the way down his throat. His member slid down her tongue and into her throat time and again, Nat's short pubic hair burying into her nostrils with every deep thrust. Poor girl's head hit against the wall every time, pillows being her only rescue from a possible concussion. Her only respite came when Nat slid out of her mouth, strings of saliva still connecting his manhood to her lips, and turned to Annie to give her the same treatment, although the redhead had her head (head had her head, head had her head, head had her head!) forced down on him instead of being on the receiving end of Nat's thrusts.
Eventually, Nat came, and did so more than he ever did in real life. Half a dozen streaks of warm seed shot against the woman's face, some splashing against her cheeks and nose, some landing across her heaving breasts, and some going straight into her gaping mouth; a reward for a work well done. Annie wasn't let out either, Nat's girlfriend getting her fair share on her face. Happy and spent, Nat lied down on bed... only to quickly realise that he wasn't spent at all.
Tower patiently waited for the sisters to finish their talk, sitting on the edge of the bed. Waiting for murderous, treacherous witches to finish deciding whether they want to kill, fuck or use him (or all three) might have been weird to some people - majority of people, really - but Guy wasn't lying when he said he's been around the block a few times. The adventurer has seen and done many things, and fucking with dangerous but beautiful hags wasn't even in top three most insane ones; maybe in top five. He was considering his options: YYY was sitting outside, probably continuing to gorge on the treats. Most of his stuff was by the table as well, seeing how the witches haven't had the time to move it anywhere. His clothes were most probably still drying, which meant that a quick escape would be difficult. If the situation turned out to be a no deal one, all he could do was try to run for it out of bedroom and grab his bag and YYY; maybe his wits and his gear would be enough to survive this, although the man did not put his chances high.
Tower's planning ended when he heard the terrifying shriek coming from the outside. He followed the two "women", only to see the same horrible scene that they saw. A quick glance towards YYY allowed him to make a guess as to what has transpired: the witches' were somehow connected to the trees, and YYY shaking down the tree's leaves destroyed that connection, thus destroying one of the sisters. "Alright!", he thought to himself, seeing the way out of this situation. The man, wearing only the soft pants that the witches gave him, ran back indoors. He soon came back with his grenade bandolier in one hand and the hardest item he could find, a frying pan, in the other. He didn't lose time to observe the situation, merely acknowledging the horrifying and yet hilarious scene of YYY running around the naked tree, two furious women following her in circles, their fingernails turned into claws and murder in their eyes. Guy rushed towards the silver tree, gaining momentum to then bounce off the ground and hit the tree's trunk with both his feet in a powerful kick. The second sister shrieked when she fell to the ground, third one falling over her as well. "Nnnnnrrrroooo!", she let out a cry of fury and terror, looking down at her hands that started to shrivel, flecks of skin falling off and revealing the red meat beneath them. She cried again when Guy raised his pan-armed hand and hit the tree with it, causing more leaves to fall and more of her body to die away.
"YYY , get back!", the adventurer cried when the third sister got up, hurling obscenities as she sprinted towards Guy. He raised his pan in defense, but the witch was too fast, and the two ended on the ground, fumbling as she tried to rip his chest open. Struggling to free himself from the woman, Guy soon found himself pinned to the ground, her hand, much stronger than expected, holding him by his throat. The witch grinned when Tower tried to punch her face with the bomb he's been holding in his hand, deflecting the strike with but the touch of her claw-like nail. Her eyes lit with dark red when the sparks caused by her scratching the metallic bomb. "I will taste your cock when I break it from your crotch and eat it as you watch", she said, raising her hand to kill the man with a deadly thrust. Her maniackal grin faded away when he saw Guy grinning himself, her eyes following his. She gasped when she saw a grenade in his palm, its fuse lit, the little fire almost reaching the black powder inside it. "Eat this", replied Guy, obedient to the cosmic laws of cliche, as he threw the grenade towards the last, bronze tree. The witches' shriek almost suppressed the explosion, her body decomposing on top of Guy as her tree's upper half turned into splinters. Her white skin shriveled and melted off, the eyes in her head popping out and hair standing ablaze before her whole upper torso exploded in a rain of gore that quickly dissipated into ash.
Groaning, Guy got up on his feet. Before his eyes, the whole hill they were on shivered, the air glimmering as if from the heat. Soft, green grass under his feet turned into the nasty moss of the bog; the little beautiful hat crumpled down into little more than an old, decrepit shack; even the scent of the bog returned as the unnatural aura of the place dispersed. Feeling wind upon his nether regions, Guy looked down, only to see his pants turn into a dirty piece of rag; so did YYY's clothing. As a tiny reward for one of the top five worst days in his life, YYY's rags were short of just enough material for him to catch a glimpse of the woman's perky bosom. Sighing and smiling, the man looked for a moment and then turned around. "Good grief... Well, good job, miss YYY. If not for your ingenuity, we would both be dead", he said, honest praise mixed with a biting sarcasm that he knew she probably wouldn't catch on anyway.
Tower's planning ended when he heard the terrifying shriek coming from the outside. He followed the two "women", only to see the same horrible scene that they saw. A quick glance towards YYY allowed him to make a guess as to what has transpired: the witches' were somehow connected to the trees, and YYY shaking down the tree's leaves destroyed that connection, thus destroying one of the sisters. "Alright!", he thought to himself, seeing the way out of this situation. The man, wearing only the soft pants that the witches gave him, ran back indoors. He soon came back with his grenade bandolier in one hand and the hardest item he could find, a frying pan, in the other. He didn't lose time to observe the situation, merely acknowledging the horrifying and yet hilarious scene of YYY running around the naked tree, two furious women following her in circles, their fingernails turned into claws and murder in their eyes. Guy rushed towards the silver tree, gaining momentum to then bounce off the ground and hit the tree's trunk with both his feet in a powerful kick. The second sister shrieked when she fell to the ground, third one falling over her as well. "Nnnnnrrrroooo!", she let out a cry of fury and terror, looking down at her hands that started to shrivel, flecks of skin falling off and revealing the red meat beneath them. She cried again when Guy raised his pan-armed hand and hit the tree with it, causing more leaves to fall and more of her body to die away.
"YYY , get back!", the adventurer cried when the third sister got up, hurling obscenities as she sprinted towards Guy. He raised his pan in defense, but the witch was too fast, and the two ended on the ground, fumbling as she tried to rip his chest open. Struggling to free himself from the woman, Guy soon found himself pinned to the ground, her hand, much stronger than expected, holding him by his throat. The witch grinned when Tower tried to punch her face with the bomb he's been holding in his hand, deflecting the strike with but the touch of her claw-like nail. Her eyes lit with dark red when the sparks caused by her scratching the metallic bomb. "I will taste your cock when I break it from your crotch and eat it as you watch", she said, raising her hand to kill the man with a deadly thrust. Her maniackal grin faded away when he saw Guy grinning himself, her eyes following his. She gasped when she saw a grenade in his palm, its fuse lit, the little fire almost reaching the black powder inside it. "Eat this", replied Guy, obedient to the cosmic laws of cliche, as he threw the grenade towards the last, bronze tree. The witches' shriek almost suppressed the explosion, her body decomposing on top of Guy as her tree's upper half turned into splinters. Her white skin shriveled and melted off, the eyes in her head popping out and hair standing ablaze before her whole upper torso exploded in a rain of gore that quickly dissipated into ash.
Groaning, Guy got up on his feet. Before his eyes, the whole hill they were on shivered, the air glimmering as if from the heat. Soft, green grass under his feet turned into the nasty moss of the bog; the little beautiful hat crumpled down into little more than an old, decrepit shack; even the scent of the bog returned as the unnatural aura of the place dispersed. Feeling wind upon his nether regions, Guy looked down, only to see his pants turn into a dirty piece of rag; so did YYY's clothing. As a tiny reward for one of the top five worst days in his life, YYY's rags were short of just enough material for him to catch a glimpse of the woman's perky bosom. Sighing and smiling, the man looked for a moment and then turned around. "Good grief... Well, good job, miss YYY. If not for your ingenuity, we would both be dead", he said, honest praise mixed with a biting sarcasm that he knew she probably wouldn't catch on anyway.
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