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How important is it your partner finds YC sexy?

A

Alan23

Star
Joined
Feb 24, 2011
Location
Australia
Having been RPing for many years, it is obvious to me that there are two main pay-offs for indulging in the art. One is the sheer enjoyment of telling a story for its own sake, the other (at an adult site like BM anyway) is the sexual stimulation to be gained from the exercise. Many request threads seem to recognize these twin aims, and often list a story/smut ratio emphasizing which of these two desires is the most important to the poster.

Now here's my question. Obviously when the erotic scenes come about in the story, both sides get a sexual pay-off, and if they don't the RP usually comes to an end. But how important is it to you that your partner finds YC sexy in his/her own right? For me, one of the greatest compliments I can get from my co-writer(s) is "I love your character. He really turns me on and I wish I could meet him in RL." If my partner tells me they are having erotic thoughts about MC even when there is no sex scene going on, or even that they fantasize about him outside of the RP, it sets me up for days!

It is not of course an absolute necessity - sometimes the literary part of the story is enjoyable for its own sake, especially when doing a RP in the non-erotic section. But in most cases, for me, this is important. If I were in the planning stage of a RP and my potential partner said "I only like bodybuilder type white guys who speak in a midwestern accent" and I was planning to play a skinny Asian guy, I would probably feel it wasn't worth the effort of going on with the planning. Similarly if the type of character my partner wants to play doesn't arouse me, I would be less likely to want to start that particular RP.

I was wondering how many others feel the same way. Is it important that your co-writer finds YC sexy and attractive, or are you indifferent to this.
 
Hmmm...

I think it's more important - to me, at least - that my partner(s) finds MC to be believable. A hot/sexy/attractive character isn't worth much if the character isn't believable at the same time.

What is believable, then? Again, to me a character is believable if he/she also fits within the bounds of reality or could otherwise be plausible. A 6'6" guy buffed six ways from Sunday with a 20" kielbasa and six PhDs might be sexy, but is he believable? No. So it's a fail for me. A 5'10" woman with a very-toned 45"GG-20"-35" figure, legs that don't close and nothing but air between her ears might be sexy, but is she believable? Again, I'd say no - so another fail for me.

To me, sexiness is a lot more than just physical appearance...and sexiness is also entirely subjective. You don't have to be a model to be sexy, and sexy people aren't always models - and I try to make my characters with that philosophy in mind.
 
While I agree with what Sync said, I do think both are equally important or at least are for me.

I do want a believable character (within the confines of the story) but I do think there's something to be said about clicking on a Face claim (real or otherwise) and feeling that initial heat. Finding them attractive in someway. There are writers I've written with who have asked for a specific type of faceclaim and even though it can have a bit of a sour taste (I freely admit I like playing big hunky guys and have fun with that body type) I also get it. If someone wants a heavily tatted artistic type or a shy nerd then I try to accommodate because I do want them to see my iniital character and be like "Dang that spark is there."

And like you, I do like to get that compliment of "Wow I really like your character." that to me is a feather in my cap. However, I hope it comes from them being attracted to them physically and who they are as a character themselves.
 
I mean I try and come up with an attractive character. To be fair I do lean drawn FC though I want to be detailed in my description. That said, I find that rather then emphasizing the appearance writing the scene with vague descriptions and it emphasizing the attractive qualities work best. The more detailed you get, I think the worst it can be when it comes to in the action moments... if that makes sense. You want to explain what is happening and heck add some flavorful words to it, but you want mostly for your partner's mind to fill in the gaps. Almost being a bit poetic with words I feel works wonders.

So yeah, I will pretty much explain my character out often as if she is some sexual goddess, or emphasize the traits of the character to a high degree. Allow my partner's mind to run wild. That said, it does go beyond appearances. It's also the little actions the character does and the way they talk. While yeah you can write a 'perfect' character, I do find it better to write them flawed to some extent. Even if say for a more... stimulating scene I'll lavish up their appearance, I feel like it's good to also play up their personality, flaws and all.

They are shy but sweet? Play up MC being easily flustered and maybe stumbling on her words but being quite sweet. in the way she speaks or acts. Someone more rough and tumble outside but kind on the inside? Reflect that outwardly with what she says or acts, but also give subtle details how she acts or inner thoughts and the like behind what she is actually thinking.

So yeah, I want my partner to find interest in MC... is it all based on sex appeal? I don't think so. I feel a large part the way they act sells things far more then appearances alone. While I usually lean towards playing an attractive character (granted I'll admit I lean more to 'cute' then 'sexy' granted I do like a bit of both) I feel it's important to sell the character as authentic before playing up details in an RP to push them being 'sexy'. It makes sense she tries to do a seductive walk and then trips and stumbles rather awkwardly and falls over? That's going to happen! She gets very drunk and is a stumbling mess? Then yeah she isn't going to be elegant and slur her words and be a mess. I feel it makes things far more engaging even IF I want to play MC being a practical bomb shell of a woman for my partner. Even the prettiest model has those bad days were she doesn't come off 100% perfect and can come off like a cluts.
 
I aim for a healthy mix of sexy and believable in the scenario we're writing. I do like to try and cater a character what my partner enjoys or someone that pairs well with their character. With that said, if they request something that I don't find particularly sexy or interesting, I will usually decline the roleplay. It's like I can only write sexiness that I can appreciate too. While I like to think I have a broad range of what appeals to me, I'm not into everything I see in request threads.

As for what's important to me, I think I really want to find my partner's character interesting. If they hit that and the character isn't just outwardly gross in a hygienic way, I don't need a particular body type or personality to turn me on. I guess if I'm not that into their faceclaim, well that's what headcanon is for...🥰
 
I never care how sexy MC or my partner's character looks whatsoever. I never really fantasized about anything I wrote or felt like wanting to fuck my partner's character >,>

IF I'm asked for something, I consider it and often deliver what's asked. I'm pretty easy to work with usually.
 
I'd say there should be an element of it, yes. But realism is so key for me. I find either the conversation is lacking, or just plain unrealistic. You should use your characters to interact the way they would be if they were in the same room together...

I find this lack of realism exists either in the characters, in the sex scenes, or both. Foreplay is needed to make some things possible IRL o-o
 
I enjoy making sure my partner is happy. I personally care little about physical appearance other than maybe some generic features. I've had requests to make my character more curvy or slim or whatever, doesn't bother me. I'm happy to make adjustments. I guess it is a bit of a red flag when I've had people care a bit too much about FCs... because again, I don't focus on the physical all too much. Even if someone uses a FC that isn't my favorite, isn't a deal breaker, just my imagination might shift things a bit as I RP.
 
I think its important to me that a player is happy with the character I create. I am not one of these people who choses a character for someone and I dont want one chosen for me to use either, but I do at the same time want to approve of what is put forward and expect the same of my partner.
 
It's important to me that I find a character appealing. I have one thread where a side character became a main character because 1) the fc was really attractive to me and 2) the personality on display was more interesting to me than a lot of the other characters. Add to that a backstory type I really enjoyed and I basically changed an entire thread because one character over performed over the others.

I've also lost interest in threads because the character my partner chose didn't appeal to me either physically or mentally, and when I asked if they would be willing to talk about ways to enhance them, things usually fall apart.

So yeah for me at least I like to find the character attractive, if not physically by an FC, than mentally by the personality.
 
I don’t know if the character has to be attractive to me. I think they have to be attractive to my character. Typically these go hand in hand however, but I do enjoy writing a story with a generally by social standards, unattractive person with a highly attractive one.

Sexiness alone isn’t enough. You could have a sexy character but they have no actual relatable aspects, it makes it hard for me to find them reasonable.

Which is why middle aged, paycheck to paycheck, stressed out dad bods are my absolute favorite partner characters.
 
I mean if we're doing an RP where both characters are consenting then yeah I think it'd be important. Which does kinda blow because whenever I want to use an FC for a more human based slice of life deal, I usually wanna play a chubby dude which doesn't get alot of traction. Plus it's hard to find good anime style pics of chubby dudes that doesn't veer into straight up fetishy stuff
 
First post in years and I decide to spend it here xD

Contrary to what's been said above, I'm not all too fussed when it comes to whether a character is believable or not. I mean, I know I'm twisting words by saying this, but a sexy vampire lady that's hundreds if not thousands of years old and has completely unblemished skin isn't exactly 'realistic' either. I figure the comment was made with modern settings in mind, but even in such scenario's I'd like to think if there's an appropriate time to stretch the boundaries of realism, fictional writing would be one such time.

With that said, there's a difference between stretching how believable something is, and just something that seems nonsensical/stupid. I understand fetishes can be pretty extreme, but all good things come in moderation and at a certain point more (extreme) doesn't equate to being more enjoyable.
Additionally, I'd also point out that how believable something is isn't character appearance restricted. A lot of roleplays on here have a predetermined expectation that two characters will get together and have some sort of romantic/sexual altercation... and that isn't very realistic either. Definitely an unnatural aspect to a believable story line, but for obvious reasons it's necessary for things to simply 'work.'

But back to the original topic.
A sexy/attractive/appealing face-claim definitely helps to boost the initial motivational levels at the start of the roleplay. But like real life relationships (ironic to say that after my rant above) it ultimately comes down to the personality and how my partners character interacts/responds to plot for me. Being told that I picked a very nice face-claim feels nice, but ultimately it's not my face (or art) and it's really just someone telling me I have good taste. Being told that the character I'm presenting as MC is really sexy personality-wise, or that I surprised my partner with a pleasant plot twist on the other hand is purely me.

I don't mean to start a fight, and apologies to all who this might apply to. It's really a matter of personal preference so nothing wrong with being like this...
But I absolutely avoid roleplayers who don't seem to care what I roleplay. Being told that someone doesn't like my character means I made a poor selection (it happens), but being told my writing partner is fine with anything... means there are no right or wrong answers, and not being able to pick something that's 'right' deflates my motivation like crazy. By the same token, I also avoid roleplayers who are hellbent on playing their own character a certain way, without caring or compromising on plot cohesion. Bit of an extreme example, but the poor abused and drug inhibiting suicidal character constantly lashing out and wanting to be left alone... doesn't work for me unless the concept is short-lived... and no amount of "They'll get better over time via character development... maybe around page 57"... isn't enough to keep me going through the first 56 pages.
 
I have to say how hot a character is depends on so many things...sure physical attractiveness is one, but so many times I have found a character attractive due to the way they act, speak etc. Someone can tell me that a character is THE HOTTEST MAN ALIVE and the character might be, but if there is no personality created around it, IMO is waster.

And to the above, I also consider it what does my character find attractive. As I usually play more submissive, even innocent female characters, a submissive male character, no matter how attractive just won't mix well and I cannot see MC being the way she is, finding someone like that attractive. now if MC is the opposite..sure. It's a matter of perspective.
 
To me, it’s paramount that my partner finds my character sexy and that they fully enjoy and crave more of our story. I have worked with countless partners who clearly wrote purely for their own benefit, and I have to admit I did similarly when I was newer to this. And quite frankly, it’s a frustrating experience. I have found with these partner that I often end up wondering why I didn’t just write a build-heavy smut novella for myself, instead.

I think RP is so exciting because (at its best) it allows each of us to enjoy stories, characters, and ideas in a way that is specific to us, built for our specific desires the way erotica and pornography simply aren’t. And we experience it in a way that reaches beyond what we can give to ourselves, with the added value of our partner’s intention to give us pleasure. To be clear, I’m not saying we should engage in stories we dislike for our partners’ sakes. Compatibility is everything. But I do believe that the best RP experiences are only possible if either A) we write for our partners before ourselves or B) we have perfectly identical interests to our partner. And I’m not really looking to count on that second option.
 
There's a lot of good stuff being said here regarding character believability and making interesting characters beyond just idealistic individuals that are good at everything. Really, to somewhat mirror what's been said to an extent, it's absolutely important that my partner finds my character appealing and vice versa. I'm not saying I don't ever write for simply the sake of the story but I'm on here specifically to include sexual scenes as well. Unless someone enjoys the idea of being paired against a conventionally unappealing mess then both sides need to bring something that the other wants.

If someone talked to me about the character they wanted to play and I found it unappealing I'd let them know. If they wouldn't budge on that then I'd move on. No hard feelings but I don't want to put myself in my character's shoes for a scene only to realize I have no attraction to draw from in order to make the writing good. Heck, even though I could probably fake it through in such a case it wouldn't be enjoyable for me and enjoyment is the core of why I'm writing.
 
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