Why do I struggle finding patners?

[knockknock]

am a friendly person. I am never rude and considerate of what others like and do not like. Sure, I like things I like and would love to explore those things. But I never force my likes on anyone. I am even very flexible and try to incorporate other people's ideas and likes into any scene we discuss. However, people are just so turned off by either my preferences or me in general. I guess I just dont understand why I'm doing wrong? Anyone else have similar issues? Anybody have any helpful advice? I just wanna meet some friendly folks who I can plot and write with.

 

[Coquette]

am a friendly person. I am never rude and considerate of what others like and do not like. Sure, I like things I like and would love to explore those things. But I never force my likes on anyone. I am even very flexible and try to incorporate other people's ideas and likes into any scene we discuss. However, people are just so turned off by either my preferences or me in general. I guess I just dont understand why I'm doing wrong? Anyone else have similar issues? Anybody have any helpful advice? I just wanna meet some friendly folks who I can plot and write with.

I'm going to guess, just looking at your threads, that the pool of people looking for exactly the type of kink and plot that you're looking for is just smaller than average. I don't see these kinks very often with female writers, so unless you open up your plots/themes a bit more, it's likely you'll just have to wait for partners that suit your exact kinks to be looking for new plots. Niche writing is going to take much longer than being open to other ideas is.

 

[knockknock]

I'm going to guess, just looking at your threads, that the pool of people looking for exactly the type of kink and plot that you're looking for is just smaller than average. I don't see these kinks very often with female writers, so unless you open up your plots/themes a bit more, it's likely you'll just have to wait for partners that suit your exact kinks to be looking for new plots. Niche writing is going to take much longer than being open to other ideas is.

You make a valid point. It's very niche indeed. And I have been patient and will continue to do so. Just frustrating. But I really appreciate your input

 

[Khira]

I'm going to share my thoughts as well, if that's okay!​

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First of all, being nice in the roleplaying world doesn't really get you any partners. It's wonderful when partners are polite and also open to discussing plots, kinks and settings, but it's often our preferences that make it difficult for us to proceed. Although we all love roleplaying and writing, we've all got different preferences, meaning we like to roleplay different things. The majority like a variety of things, which makes it "easy" to find partners. Others -- such as myself and probably also you -- only like a small fraction of what's out there, so we struggle to find partners. And if we do find someone who shares the same preferences as us, we also have to take other things into consideration. Writing style, kinks, communication skills, etc. We might not be compatible after all....​

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What I am trying to say is, you can do everything right, and still end up empty-handed. It has nothing to do with you as a person, or even as a roleplayer. It has everything to do with your preferences. ​

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Roleplaying is a hobby for us, and we often have lives outside of Blue Moon. This means that our time here is valuable and often limited. I never start a roleplay I wouldn't enjoy. I even tend to drop roleplays rather quickly because I lose interest. I think female writers are just picky in general when it comes to partners and plots (maybe even kinks too). But that being said, I would never tell anyone to change their preferences, as I would never change mine. If you know what you want, wait until you get it.​

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I know it's frustrating. Sometimes it even sucks. But be patient, and I am sure the right partner(s) will find you. Or you'll find them, whatever comes first!​

 

[knockknock]

I'm going to share my thoughts as well, if that's okay!

First of all, being nice in the roleplaying world doesn't really get you any partners. It's wonderful when partners are polite and also open to discussing plots, kinks and settings, but it's often our preferences that make it difficult for us to proceed. Although we all love roleplaying and writing, we've all got different preferences, meaning we like to roleplay different things. The majority like a variety of things, which makes it "easy" to find partners. Others -- such as myself and probably also you -- only like a small fraction of what's out there, so we struggle to find partners. And if we do find someone who shares the same preferences as us, we also have to take other things into consideration. Writing style, kinks, communication skills, etc. We might not be compatible after all....

What I am trying to say is, you can do everything right, and still end up empty-handed. It has nothing to do with you as a person, or even as a roleplayer. It has everything to do with your preferences.

Roleplaying is a hobby for us, and we often have lives outside of Blue Moon. This means that our time here is valuable and often limited. I never start a roleplay I wouldn't enjoy. I even tend to drop roleplays rather quickly because I lose interest. I think female writers are just picky in general when it comes to partners and plots (maybe even kinks too). But that being said, I would never tell anyone to change their preferences, as I would never change mine. If you know what you want, wait until you get it.

I know it's frustrating. Sometimes it even sucks. But be patient, and I am sure the right partner(s) will find you. Or you'll find them, whatever comes first!​

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You hit all the nails on the head here. I know the things I am into are niche and turn quite alot if people away. Cuckolding specifically is listed in so many people's "offs". That being said I want to explore it in a fun and interesting way. It is very frustrating but worth the wait. And I know you're right, there have to be compatible partners out there. Just seems like I've been waiting forever. It won't stop me from waiting. I know when we find one another it will be worth it, for me and for them.

 

[Khira]

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. You hit all the nails on the head here. I know the things I am into are niche and turn quite alot if people away. Cuckolding specifically is listed in so many people's "offs". That being said I want to explore it in a fun and interesting way. It is very frustrating but worth the wait. And I know you're right, there have to be compatible partners out there. Just seems like I've been waiting forever. It won't stop me from waiting. I know when we find one another it will be worth it, for me and for them.

You're welcome! I'm picky about things too, leaning into dark themes without much smut. Most male writers on this site prefer at least 50% smut, while I'm okay with 10%. But when you find the right partner(s), you just click. And it's wonderful! It's a waste of time trying to convince the wrong people to roleplay with you. It's also a waste of time to start roleplays you won't enjoy just to please your partner(s). I used to do that in the past, saying yes to everyone who wanted to roleplay and I got burned out so fast.

I am positive that you will find someone soon enough!

 

[knockknock]

You're welcome! I'm picky about things too, leaning into dark themes without much smut. Most male writers on this site prefer at least 50% smut, while I'm okay with 10%. But when you find the right partner(s), you just click. And it's wonderful! It's a waste of time trying to convince the wrong people to roleplay with you. It's also a waste of time to start roleplays you won't enjoy just to please your partner(s). I used to do that in the past, saying yes to everyone who wanted to roleplay and I got burned out so fast.

I am positive that you will find someone soon enough!

Let's hope so. I need to add a few things and update my thread. Getting alot of good information. And while smut based I prefer the story building up and after the smut to the smut. But your positive outlook is welcomed and appreciated

 

[Khira]

Let's hope so. I need to add a few things and update my thread. Getting alot of good information. And while smut based I prefer the story building up and after the smut to the smut. But your positive outlook is welcomed and appreciated

I'm always happy to encourage fellow roleplayers!

It might be slow, but if we give up, we'll never find any partners.

 

[Seranda]

I don't see any issues with your likes and preferences. Many match my own. Cheating and cuckholding are excellent for material, but I'll be honest, I really don't go digging around in what boys want, let them come to me. They all want a harem. Screw harems.

Edit: All of your plots are good. Basic. Simple. But that's the best part.